As you turn 7 and 5 – a birthday post

How many sleeps until our party, mummy? / How many sleeps until our birthday, mummy? / And how many sleeps until MY party, mummy?

This has been the soundtrack in our house for the last couple of weeks at least. Three little boys, with birthdays two days apart – the first being tomorrow.  Piled in the corner of my bedroom are party bags, pass the parcel fillers, presents and cards. There is a giant penguin cake under several sheets of foil in the kitchen, and another cake waiting to be transformed into a space rocket.

Birthday season is well and truly underway – one little boy is approaching 7, and two are approaching 5.

7 and 5.

7 and 5!

I am having a bit of trouble with this one – these ages sound…..well, not grown up; but not really like I still have little ones. In my head, it feels like the baby/toddler years weren’t that long ago, but then when I’m out and I see mums with change bags and prams, mums trying to get babies to sleep, mums heading off to baby massage classes, mums lugging around car seats and mums putting babies in highchairs I realise that yes, we are well and truly in a different stage now.

Part of me still misses the baby and toddler days, but then another part of me loves the ages we are at right now. I feel I spend a lot of time either looking back, feeling apprehensive about the future, or attempting to cling onto the present (only the good bits, obviously).

So this is my attempt to cling onto the right now – little snapshots of you, my three beautiful boys, as you approach 7 and 5.

Eldest boy:

You are: 

Confident in your own quiet way, cautious, determined, hungry for knowledge, routine-loving, easily pleased, inquisitive, uncoordinated; an old-fashioned soul in a fast-moving world.eldest boy reading

You love: 

Books, maps, train timetables, names, lists, dates, football, kings, queens, dates of birth, a family tree, cosy jumpers, a hearty meal, twiddling your hair, school, answers to questions, Christine and the Queens; days at home with a pen in your hand, books and plenty of paper.

You can often be found: 

At a table with a pen and reams of paper, making lists.

Sitting on your bedroom floor surrounded by books.

In the garden playing football with your own running commentary and a list of scores by the door ready to update when necessary.

Likely to say: 

‘I have made up a new train line, mummy. It goes from Chorleywood to Aston Clinton.’

‘I’m going to draw another map of my made up town, North Moor.’

‘How many caps did Luther Blissett get for England, daddy?’

‘I still have quite a bit of my work to do you know, mummy.’ (Your work being your lists, charts, maps and tables – it is never-ending.)

Nightmare scenarios: 

Practising bike-riding. Again.

Not having time to finish your ‘work’.

Special skills: 

Keeping yourself amused.

Plotting train routes.

Inventing towns.

Recalling the dates of birth of family members, the Royal Family, and 85% of Watford FC’s players.

Twin 1:

You are: 

A beautiful, affectionate, eager, sensitive, messy, cuddly whirlwind of emotions. Happy to be looked after, always ready for a cuddle.

Twin 1 climbing

You love: 

Roast potatoes, chipped potatoes, most other potatoes, climbing, dancing, superheroes, big drums, motorbikes, skateboards, funny voices, fast slides, funny faces, cake, biscuits, ice-cream in a cone.

Can often be found: 

Climbing to the top of something.

Likely to say: 

‘Mummy, when can I have a skateboard?……. And what about a surfboard?’

‘I tried peas mummy and I like them. But I am only eating ONE.’

‘Can I have some more roast potatoes, please?’

‘I am NOT tired.’

Nightmare scenarios: 

A grazed knee.

A bowl of greens.

Your very precious skateboard top being in the wash.

Being told there are no more roast potatoes.

Special skills: 

Eating all the roast potatoes.

A continually grubby face, whatever the activity.

Twin 2:

You are:  

Helpful, earnest, observant, loyal, stubborn, growing so so fast, cuddly, affectionate, independent but not keen on being alone, a snazzy dresser; sometimes shy, sometimes a performer…..And absolutely never, ever in any rush. Twin 2 fireman

You love:

Observing your surroundings, parsnips, creepy crawlies, helping with jobs, feeling like a grown up, undivided attention, holding open doors, pulling funny faces, emergency vehicles, fancy dress, dot-to-dots, custard tarts, mummy’s necklaces / watch / rings /  buttons; bow ties, smart hats, flamboyant shirts, doors, locks, hand-dryers, a sensor flush.

Can often be found: 

Still sitting at the table long after everyone else has finished.

Drifting along at the back of a group.

Holding open doors.

Testing out toilet doors / locks / flushing mechanisms and the pedals on sanitary bins.

Likely to say: 

‘But I don’t want to be LAST FOR MY MIIIIILLLLLKKKKK.’

‘Can I help you, mummy?’

‘But I can carry it all by myself!’ 

‘Mummy, do you remember that day when we went to the park and there were three tunnels and we saw a blue bin and two ladybirds and a butterfly?’ 

Nightmare scenarios: 

Being the last one to put milk on your cereal in the mornings.

Being interrupted.

Feeling like you’re not being listened to.

Special skills: 

An incredible eye for detail – you notice everything.

Happily spending an hour over your breakfast.

three boys at the seaside

Happy birthday to you, little ones, as you move into your new, more grown-up sounding ages.

Let’s see what 7 and 5 have in store.

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School holidays are made for bickering

This year’s Easter holiday was when you perfected the art of telling tales. You had been working on it for a while but this holiday gave you a good couple of weeks to really work on your skills.

He called me poo.”  

“He says he’s not my friend.”

“He called me a BUTLER…….Did you hear me, mummy? He called me a BUTLER and it is NOT funny…….No, I don’t know what a butler is, but he just said it AGAIN.”

“He just TOUCHED me on the HEAD!” 

“He said I don’t know how to do my SEATBELT!”

“He tried to eat my SHOULDER!”

Don’t get the wrong idea, boys – I love having a job which is term-time only. I love not having to worry about childcare over the holidays. I love not having to think about sticking to a timetable. I probably spend around 80% of my work days looking forward to the holidays; I really do. I have grand ideas of things we are going to do during during our long and leisurely days…..We are going to make a pizza from scratch. We are going to make Easter cakes and biscuits. We are going to grow cucumbers (HA!).

I suggest that you write a list of some of the things you’d like to do over the holidays. Not today, you say – you’ll do it tomorrow. The list never gets written…..obviously.

But still, list or no list, we begin the holidays optimistically.  You enjoy the simple things – having time to play in the garden and to re-acquaint yourselves with your toys and books. I am doing my very best Julie Andrews impression – it is exhausting, let me tell you.

By the end week one, I am ready to poke my eyes out.

Apparently you all need to talk at the same time, nobody is able to talk at a normal volume, and everything mummy says has to be repeated at least three times. I wonder how anyone possibly manages to home-school their children. Seriously…..how would you get ANYTHING done?

But at the same time, I know that in a few years you will be doing your own thing during the holidays and I will probably long for these days back again. I won’t long for the fights and the squabbles and the tale-telling; but those bits probably won’t stand out to me as much as the special times. The excitement on your faces when I tell you that we’re gong to stay with your grandparents for THREE WHOLE NIGHTS over Easter. The cuddles and the squeezes and the little hands holding onto mine. Easter crowns, sitting at the front of the bus, picnics at the park, running up and down hills, ice-cream moustaches; and you begging mummy to join you for a game of football.

I know that at some point in the not too distant future, the very idea of mummy playing football with you will be truly horrifying.

The excitement when you, eldest boy, lost one front tooth and then the other a few days later. That beautiful, gappy smile and your eyes twinkling with joy when you found your coin from the tooth fairy.

I know that these days won’t last forever. I know that us tired, flustered parents need to do our best to see through the bickering and the squabbling, and treasure the special moments. And I will treasure them, honestly I will.

But it would help enormously if you could just remember that you are NOT poo (even if a four year old says you are, you’re really not), that despite your squabbles over who gets to choose their cereal first, you are all friends; and that…..well, there are worse things in the world than being called a butler.

boys on the bus

 

 

 

 

 

Keeping up with life

You know those times when everything just feels too much? Too many emails, too many dates, too many things you’re worried about forgetting, too many things you realise you have already forgotten. Chasing your tail, feeling permanently behind. Well that is me this week. It was also me last week. Evening events at the children’s school, costumes to prepare, slips to complete and return, parents’ evening appointments to make, parents’ evening appointments to turn up for. Violins, swimming lessons, reading books, library books. Doctor’s appointments, the food shopping; and of course that soul-destroying basket full of laundry just waiting to be folded and put away…..that basket which you know will be full again within seconds of you having emptied it.

Those times when you’re so tired that even an early night is beyond you. Somehow scrolling through the Facebook photos of someone you haven’t seen for 20+ years while at the same time half-heartedly searching online for boys’ astro boots is vastly more appealing than going through the ridiculously lengthy process of getting ready for bed.

I used to be reasonably efficient. Birthday cards were always on time. Late cards were a pet-hate. Now, I’m the one who sends the apology text…..I’m so sorry, your card is on its way. Couldn’t quite get my act together. Hope you have a lovely day. Now I’m the one who opens my handbag to find an un-posted card, now weeks late and possibly not even worth posting at all.

Why? Why is is that such simple things are frequently beyond me? Why is it that the normal, everyday tasks needed to get through life sometimes feel impossible to keep up with? Keeping house, measuring up for new blinds, painting the lounge, renewing insurance, putting away the washing, doing the food shop, making the beds, watering the plants……even planting any plants in the first place.

Why am I struggling when I have so many things to help me? When I have a washing machine, a dishwasher, a tumble dryer, a slow-cooker, a computer, and a phone that does so much more than make phone calls? How did people manage in the days before all of these things, not to mention in the days before we had online grocery shopping and Amazon Prime? And what about people who hold down jobs that are far more demanding than mine? People with long commutes, people who get home late, people who have to work in the evenings and at weekends. How do they all seem to manage it? Yes, my life is busy; but I can’t really pretend I don’t have the time to keep up with basic jobs given that many of my evenings are spent sitting on a sofa eating Kettle Chips and talking about how tired I am.

Unfortunately I don’t have any answers – I am just writing it down because sometimes it helps.

So if you feel like you’re drowning, then know that I am too. If the emails, the post, the texts are all piling up and need attending to, well that is true over here as well. If you suddenly realised that your car’s MOT was overdue and had to re-plan your entire week to enable you to get your car to the garage…..the car that you rely on to get to work and to get your children to all their activities – well yes, that is also me.

That is me, attempting to muddle through but currently failing because, even with all the equipment and gadgets which are supposed to help us modern parents, sometimes life just gets on top of us.

And unfortunately, as yummy as they are, Kettle Chips don’t really help.

 

boys-on-sofa-2

When life starts getting on top of these three, they snuggle up and watch Mary Poppins. You can do that when you’re 6 and 4.

A twin journey

“I think you need to look at the screen”, said the sonographer. So I finally looked up.

“There’s baby number 1”, she said. “….And there’s baby number 2.”

I hadn’t wanted to look up until then. Because the last time I’d been on that bed, there was an awful silence. One of those silences which is heavy with meaning. One of those silences which means there’s a problem.

And so when I was back on that bed, my head was very deliberately turned the other way.

Baby number 2? …….. Baby number 2?

It took a moment.

There were definitely tears…..tears of panic, really. I was thinking of giant buggies and new cars and the fact that since having baby #1 I had always looked at anyone with twins and thought ‘how on earth is that possible?’

“But we’ve already got one”, I said to the sonographer – as if that piece of information might change things. “What are we going to do?”

“First time is the hardest”, she said. “You’ll find it easier this time.”

That was about five years ago now. It almost feels like a different life.

Since then, I have thought I can’t do this more times than I can count; but also known that I don’t actually have a choice, because I have to do it.

I have felt bewildered, overwhelmed and at times totally inadequate.

I have watched crawling twins, climbing twins and walking twins gain in confidence as they worked out how to get to all the things which had been deliberately put out of their reach…….And I have felt like things were rapidly slipping out of my control.

I have eaten too many sweets, a lot of cake, and tripled my coffee intake.

I have accepted kind words from strangers and tried to stay strong when people have felt the need to be unkind.

I haven’t completed any of the baby journals or scrapbooks that I completed for my eldest boy. Instead there are hospital bands and locks of hair and scan photos strewn casually around the house. Sorry about that, little ones.

I have struggled my way through hundreds of painful, over-tired bedtimes.

I have cried. A lot. Tears of exhaustion, frustration, joy and everything in between.

I have despaired over squabbles about who gets to open the bedroom door first, who gets to go to the toilet first, who gets to wear the Spiderman pyjamas, who gets to choose their cereal first, who gets to wear the stripy hat, who gets to choose the music in the car, who gets to be the one to open the front door on the way out (this is the most coveted job of them all, and is always worth fighting over).

I have felt like the world’s worst referee.

I have spent nights being budged out of my own bed, nights lying on the floor next to small boys’ beds; and too many Sunday mornings trying to convince little ones that 5.30am is just not an acceptable time to start the day.

But there is also this – the fact that you, Baby number 1 and Baby number 2, are now a proper team….. a unit. The fact that, as you get older, you are increasingly able to take comfort and confidence from each other. When I think about your play, your chatter, your day-to-day fun….well, I’m just not particularly important anymore. Apart from for logistics……and snacks, obviously. At four years old, you are now able to cooperate, share and take it in turns – of course you still have your moments, but who doesn’t? The skills are there, and you display them more frequently than you used to. You consult each other on which television programme you should watch next; you arrange to swap hats and trainers. You have got used to always taking someone else into account – sometimes this doesn’t suit you…… of course it doesn’t. But this is your life and you understand that. You are proud of yourselves when you manage to reach a compromise…… I am proud of you too. You organise your play meticulously: it always involves each other and only occasionally involves me – let’s play Fireman Sam and Elvis, let’s play doggy and his owner, let’s play daddy and baby, let’s play cow and farmer.

Frequently I feel like I am talking to myself – you are too busy in your own world to take much notice of me and…..well yes, that can be infuriating. But then when we’re not in a rush, I remind myself to take a moment to watch and listen to the way you talk to each other. The way you manage to work out a compromise. The way you adjust each other’s school uniform. Even just the way you use each other’s names. Because these are the things I know I’ll be desperate to hold onto as you get bigger and my window into your world gets smaller.

‘Impossible’ is what I used to say about having twins.

It isn’t impossible, as long as you adjust what you expect of yourself.

But the struggle to hear myself think, the feeling that nothing is being done quite as well as it should be, and the physical exertion required to get two small children of the same age through the most basic tasks…..well, somehow it all seems worth it when you see your twins manage to come to an agreement over who gets the top and who gets the bottom half of a hot cross bun.

Well done, boys – mummy is so proud x

arm-in-arm

I wrote this because February is TAMBA’s #lovemultiples month. Yes, I know I am sneaking in at the last minute on the very last day of February, but I feel like I’ve been chasing my tail all month so the fact that I’m a bit late to the party with this one too seemed fitting.

This is where the time went

There is one question that I’ve noticed crops up a lot on my Facebook feed at the moment, and it is this –

Where did the time go?

I see it at birthdays and big milestones and especially now, at the start of the school year.

I know what people mean when they ask where the time has gone. They mean ‘how has my helpless baby developed into a real, functioning little person who can actually do things?‘ They mean ‘how is it possible for someone to grow and learn so much when day to day I have barely notice a change?‘ They mean ‘what a shame it isn’t possible to bottle and keep the nice bits of the baby days, because they’re never coming back.’

That (I think) is what people mean. We don’t actually mean ‘where did the time go?‘; because we all know where it went, don’t we?

It went on feeding and winding and changing nappies; on changing sleepsuits because this one’s been sicked on and….oh dear, now that one’s been poo-d on.

It went on tummy time and activity mat time and ‘let’s give you a go in your bouncer‘ time.

It went on baby books and nursery rhymes and lullabies.

It went on rocking, comforting, soothing, cuddling; and on evenings spent lying next to a cot when a baby wouldn’t settle.

It went on coffee mornings, on baby signing, on baby music and on I’m-so-tired-I-don’t-even-know-what-this-group-is-but-I’m-out-of-the-house-so-I’ll-stay-anyway groups.

It went on doing the laundry and folding it up and putting it away and despairing because the laundry basket is overflowing.

It went on applying teething gel and giving calpol and wishing a cuddle could just take away all that horrible teething pain.

It went on making a tea then forgetting it about it and reheating it an hour later.

It went on walking the streets with a pushchair trying to get a cranky baby to sleep.

It went on pureeing veg and providing breadsticks; on toddler-proofing the kitchen, and on mopping up spills.

It went on trying to teach small people to share and co-operate and listen.

It went on ‘oh no, you musn’t touch this‘ and ‘please don’t touch that‘; on kneeling down to play trains or stack cups or build towers.

It went on cleaning up cut knees; on applying plasters and wiping away tears.

It went on nights comforting crying babies and early mornings with cranky toddlers.

It went on sitting in the doctor’s waiting room and on trips to out of hours.

It went on bedtime stories and tucking in and ‘let’s get you back to your own bed shall we?’ at 2am.

It went on games of Snap, on Spot the Difference, on trying to teach children how to hold a pencil properly; on episodes of In the Night Garden and Peter Rabbit and Peppa Pig.

It went on pushing the swings and helping toddlers to negotiate the climbing frames.

It went on dealing with tantrums and sorting out arguments and teaching the concept of taking it in turns.

It went on disastrous trips to the shops, on rides on the bus, on making packed lunches and on ‘why don’t you just eat that last bit of cucumber?‘.

It went on ‘let’s do some colouring‘ and ‘let’s do some painting‘ and ‘ooh why don’t we make something?‘. And then clearing up the mess.

It went on fun days out and ‘oh dear that one went a bit wrong‘ days out.

It went on ice-creams, on rainy day trips to the library; on birthday parties and soft play.

It went on snatching a few seconds to cry in a corner, on frequently feeling out of my depth, on wondering why others always looked calmer than me, on raiding the snack box, on pulling funny faces, on doing silly dances and on planning birthday parties.

That is where the time went – on all of that and so much more. It’s been pretty busy hasn’t it?

 

 

I’m feeling a bit like this today

Being a mum is always hard, but then there are those periods that feel like a constant uphill battle and which we always hope (with fingers crossed) are ‘just a phase’. We’re in one of those phases now, with one child in particular. So (just because sometimes it helps to write it down), this is me, as a mum to one going-on-6-year-old and two going-on-4-year-olds, on how I feel I’m getting on with this motherhood lark.

  • I feel like a great big fun-spoiler who does nothing but ask children to stop grabbing things, to stop interrupting, to please calm down, to stop snatching and to stop attacking each other. I hate being a fun-spoiler.
  • I feel like at least 80% of what I say to my children is ignored; so if I’m spending the day pretty much talking to myself then I should probably talk to myself about something interesting rather than saying put your shoes on and are you sure you don’t need the toilet? on a loop.
  • I feel like a broken record, and some days I can’t bear to listen to myself anymore.
  • I feel like there are times when I can’t control my children….. Like when all three of them decide that silliness is the order of the day and I just don’t have a clue where to start with trying to rein them in.
  • I feel like I should be better at all of this by now.
  • I feel in awe of parents who seem to sit down to do and make things with their children. Because I can’t see how it’s possible to fit in anything constructive when there’s always someone who has hurt their foot, or is about to attack a sibling, or is doing something they shouldn’t be. When there are always clothes to wash and dinners to cook and school runs to do; and when it takes at least 25 minutes just for your children to go to the toilet and put their shoes on.
  • I feel like I don’t spend any time of value with any of my children, because all our time is spent doing the above.
  • I feel like an ineffective parent whose children zone out every time mum opens her mouth.
  • I feel like everyone else seems to make this being-a-mum business look so much easier than I find it.
  • I feel like sometimes being a mum is just a bit crap, but you’re not really supposed to say so because other people’s photos are so shiny and lovely.
  • And I feel grateful to lovely friends, family and strangers who make me smile; and to my boys who, just when I start to feel like I really wasn’t cut out for this job, come and give me a cuddle or say something that, for a minute, makes me forget how hard it all is.

boys at the park

To the new twin mum

Hello new twin mum,

I’d like to give you a big hug really. Because I remember how relentless and overwhelming and sometimes just completely impossible it all seems. I know that you probably have no idea where to go for advice, or even the time to look for advice. I know it’s all feed, change, sleep, feed, change, sleep, feed, change, sleep, put another wash on. I know you’re probably finding it hard to bond with or even get to know your beautiful little babies, because you just don’t have the time to.

And if you already have an older one, I know how heartbreaking it is looking at this little person who was once your whole world and wondering how on earth s/he will cope with you now being split 3 ways. I know you will miss all that time and energy you were able to Looking in pramgive your older child. I know you will wonder how someone so small could possibly comprehend or be happy about what has happened to their lovely little life. But whilst they will never get as much of your time again, whilst things will never be the same; you are giving your little one not one but TWO siblings. My eldest boy could not be more different from his twin siblings, but he thinks they are the funniest little people imaginable. They are often infuriating and they sneak into his room and wake him up at the crack of dawn and try to steal his cuddly toys; but he is ridiculously proud of them.

I know how torn you feel right now, but your eldest one will be absolutely fine – you will learn to all muddle through together. And on difficult days, you will be grateful for your eldest child – mine was my company back in the baby days. He really was. He was a reason to smile after a difficult night. He cheered me up if the babies were cranky. He was a reason to get out of the house. Your eldest one is extra work yes, but s/he will also help you through.

What about those new babies though? If you’ve ventured out much, you will realise that people will stop you constantly to tell you you’ve got double trouble. I would tell you that twins are more than double the trouble. How’s that? You might ask. Surely if you’ve got two babies, it’s twice the amount of work. Haha, but what about all the demands baby #2 is making while you’re feeding or changing baby #1? What about all the trouble toddler #2 is causing while you’re dealing with toddler #1? It’s not just double the trouble, it’s not just doing everything twice…..it is feeling like you can’t actually do anything properly. And sometimes it just feels absolutely completely totally impossible.

Let me give you a few examples……

  • Two babies are crying – you can only properly comfort one at a time. There is NOTHING you can do about the other one. You could cuddle them for 5 minutes each and then switch. You could hold one baby’s hand and give him sympathetic looks while you cuddle the other. Not ideal solutions are they? All babies have days when they want to be carried and cuddled – the very second you put them down, they will cry. But with two babies, you have to put them down at some point. And you have to accept that some days, there will be crying, and lots of it.
  • Your babies are mobile. You are changing #1, meanwhile #2 is attempting to scale your full-size bookcase. You could go and pull #2 down from the bookcase, but then what about #1 who is mid-change and not quite clean? Quite….. it’s one of those no-win situations.
  • You are out with your now-walking twins, and both kick off in the street. With one child you can run after him, you can pick him up if necessary. But when Twin #1 has flung himself on the ground and Twin #2 is hotfooting it around the corner, you feel totally powerless.

I could give you more examples, but you’ve probably got the picture. Twins are most definitely more than double the trouble – when you feel like you’re finding it all too tough, please remind yourself of this.

You simply cannot do for two babies what you can do for one; but they will be ok, really they will. There is a tendency to over-parent these days, but back in our grandparents’ day, babies used to be put outside in a pram while mums got on with hand-washing clothes and all the other never-ending jobs that were necessary to keep the home going. I’m not saying we should go back to leaving our babies outside, but they are not suffering just because you aren’t constantly interacting with them. Don’t compare yourself to the mums who are going to baby yoga followed by swimming and then coming home and doing finger paintings with their children. There is no way you can compete with that; and even if you could, it doesn’t do babies or children any harm to learn to amuse themselves (and, in the case of twins, to keep each other entertained). Your babies might not get all the interaction from you that one baby would have enjoyed, but they do have each other. And as I watch my boys go through all their milestones together, I realise how lucky they are.

So if I could give you a few pieces of advice, new twin mum, they would be these:

  1. Eat cake, and whatever else you fancy. You deserve it.
  2. Get out of the house. I know it seems impossible at times, but it will keep things in perspective and remind you that normal life is still going on. Take someone with you until you feel confident going alone. I don’t mean find yoga classes or go off on day trips, but just go for a walk. Maybe to the bakers. Believe it or not, now is the time to do it – they will probably sleep on the move. The worst that can happen is they will both kick off together, but you can handle that. And if it becomes a bit much to handle, find a nice shoulder to have a cry on. In my experience, people don’t tend to mind. When you feel up to it, find a little baby group where you can chat to other mums and watch your babies sleep or roll around on a mat in different surroundings.
  3. Say yes to offers of help and, when you’ve mastered that, start asking for help. I have only really just started doing this – it is amazing. People don’t mind, most people are delighted to help. If you have an older one, see if you can find someone who could watch your twins for an hour while you take the older one for a walk, just the two of you.
  4. If you possibly can, get your babies in sync with feeding. This might take real effort for a day or two, but once they’re in sync with each other things feel so much more achievable.
  5. Know your limits and accept that, at this stage, some things aren’t worth the bother. Don’t pressurise yourself into trying to do too much. They will be little for a while yet – you don’t have to do everything right now.
  6. Invest in friends who have kind words, make you smile and understand how hard it is.
  7. Remember that however hard it seems at the time, each difficult phase will pass. All of our tricky baby phases felt like they would last forever while we were in them. I was too tired and dazed to see that they would ever end. Now, it feels like each tricky phase lasted no more than a day. You don’t want to wish the baby days away; but when it’s tough, just remember that each phase will pass.

All you can do is your best, new twin mum. And some days, your best will just be getting you and your babies to the end of the day in one piece. That’s ok though – you are keeping two babies alive.

So go and have a piece of cake. And here’s a virtual hug x

watching ducks