I’m feeling a bit like this today

Being a mum is always hard, but then there are those periods that feel like a constant uphill battle and which we always hope (with fingers crossed) are ‘just a phase’. We’re in one of those phases now, with one child in particular. So (just because sometimes it helps to write it down), this is me, as a mum to one going-on-6-year-old and two going-on-4-year-olds, on how I feel I’m getting on with this motherhood lark.

  • I feel like a great big fun-spoiler who does nothing but ask children to stop grabbing things, to stop interrupting, to please calm down, to stop snatching and to stop attacking each other. I hate being a fun-spoiler.
  • I feel like at least 80% of what I say to my children is ignored; so if I’m spending the day pretty much talking to myself then I should probably talk to myself about something interesting rather than saying put your shoes on and are you sure you don’t need the toilet? on a loop.
  • I feel like a broken record, and some days I can’t bear to listen to myself anymore.
  • I feel like there are times when I can’t control my children….. Like when all three of them decide that silliness is the order of the day and I just don’t have a clue where to start with trying to rein them in.
  • I feel like I should be better at all of this by now.
  • I feel in awe of parents who seem to sit down to do and make things with their children. Because I can’t see how it’s possible to fit in anything constructive when there’s always someone who has hurt their foot, or is about to attack a sibling, or is doing something they shouldn’t be. When there are always clothes to wash and dinners to cook and school runs to do; and when it takes at least 25 minutes just for your children to go to the toilet and put their shoes on.
  • I feel like I don’t spend any time of value with any of my children, because all our time is spent doing the above.
  • I feel like an ineffective parent whose children zone out every time mum opens her mouth.
  • I feel like everyone else seems to make this being-a-mum business look so much easier than I find it.
  • I feel like sometimes being a mum is just a bit crap, but you’re not really supposed to say so because other people’s photos are so shiny and lovely.
  • And I feel grateful to lovely friends, family and strangers who make me smile; and to my boys who, just when I start to feel like I really wasn’t cut out for this job, come and give me a cuddle or say something that, for a minute, makes me forget how hard it all is.

boys at the park

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One thought on “I’m feeling a bit like this today

  1. Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s pretty much exactly what I’m feeling right now, wallowing in a big old dose of Midnight Mum Guilt! Sorry that it’s tough for you at the moment, but selfishly glad to hear an echo. It IS a bit crap sometimes, isn’t it? It doesn’t mean you don’t love them unreservedly. Hoping for a cooperative day for you tomorrow.

    Liked by 1 person

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